Hi, my name is ashley. Im 16 years old and am a mommy to angle babies. I got pregnant in january of 2011 with twins but by 9 weeks i ended up miscarring. Me and my boyfriend Michael who have been together for two years were trying for another but had no luck till a month after we stoped. 5 days after christmass we found out we were pregnant again. the pregnancy lasted till i was 9 weeks and four days. Payten died at 9 weeks and 2 days. the doctor told us we had a fighter on our hands because he was trying to live since i was 6 weeks and 1 day along in my pregnancy. Payten's due date just passed, August 30th. I feel completly lost without a baby. I suffer from depression and a heart disease. Ive started to fear myself for some days i have suisidel thoughts. There is no way for my depression to go away till i have a healthy baby inside me or in my arms. People say that there is other ways to get over it But for me there isn't. I plan on taking a gap year to take care of my baby and then go through a two year course at my local college. Emotionaly i am unstable but am Overly ready for a baby, finacually I have everything in place. Great stable job, loving boyfriend who will have a for sure stable job in three months.(He is on a 6 months contract stating he cant be fierd after the 6 months is over). He wants to become a lawyer and He has a 98% average. I dream of being a stay at home mom/wife but also am going to go for my 2 year LPN course to make my mother proud. I might get judge but this is my life and i am who i am, no one can stop me from accomplishing my hopes and dreams.