November 20, 2009

Baby B,

I wrote this for myself mostly, but I also wrote it for you the day after you went to heaven.

Psalm 139:13-17 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well....When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

He knew my child before I knew I was even pregnant. He knew that I would never hold my child, that I would not know the joy of bringing my child into this world. He knew that when he created that little life in my womb. God had bigger and better plans for my baby. He gave me the excitement, the joy, the love, the happiness of this baby for a short time, but it is a time, that I will cherish forever.

I am comforted knowing that this was God's plan and that my child is now safe in the arms of Jesus.....never to know pain, or sorrow....never to shed a tear of hunger or fear.......safe in the arms of Jesus until I get to Heaven to hold him in my arms for the rest of eternity.

I can't wait to see your beautiful face, angel. I know I will know you as soon as I see you. I love you, little one.

Until we meet at Heaven's gate.....

Mommy
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October 9, 2008

To My Beautiful Daughter,

I still vividly remember the day that I found out you were going to be coming into my life. I was bound by more emotions at one time than I’d ever felt before: excitement, happiness, fear, apprehension, astonishment, and so many more that I can’t even remember now. But the one thing I felt that day. The one I will never forget, is love. Even before I knew your name, before I heard your heartbeat or saw your first ultrasound, I loved you.

It’s hard to describe a mother’s love to someone who has never been a mother, but the only thing I can say to try to explain the immediacy of it is that at that moment, my entire outlook, my whole lifestyle changed. Everything that was once about me, was now about you. There was never a day in the entire 9 months that I carried you that I didn’t think about you and worry for you, and pray for you.

And then the day of your arrival finally came! September 21st, 2008!

With every twinge of pain that radiated through my body, with every tear and every drop of sweat that it took to bring you into this world, I was only concerned with getting you here safely. I just wanted to hear the nurses say that you were perfect and healthy and beautiful…and you were all of that and more! God blessed me with a miracle, a perfect reflection of your father and me and our love and devotion to each other.

Now hear I sit, watching you sleep, amazed at the beautiful little creation that is in front of me. Everything about you is flawless, from your tiny little toes, to your daddy’s little nose.I still pray every day for you and I thank God for giving you to me to love and raise as my own, even though I know you belong to Him.

I know I will make plenty of mistakes as a mother, because as much as I will be teaching you every day, I will be learning things every day as well. I may not be perfect, but I can promise you this: I will always love you with every breath that I take and I will do everything that I can to show you God’s love though me, through my words, though my actions, and through my attitude. I want you to grow to be a woman who knows who she is, who is proud of what she is, and who knows that even when her father’s and my love for her falls short, that there is someone whose love for her is much bigger than any one of us can comprehend.

I love you, Baby Girl, with all of my heart!
Love,
Mommy
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*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* "I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future."
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very true love! Glad todays better, if you need me Im here <3