I'm 20 years old & live in Oklahoma.

My little boy arrived May 17th, 2008 @ 5:18pm.
He was 8lbs, 1oz & 20 1/4 inches long.
Benjaymen Rylee. He's my first baby!
I love him so much .
He's just perfect. <3






I'm a single mom, by choice.
I'm very blessed to have a great family who supports my desicion & is there to help me out with the baby & everything else! : )

We got married in august, [my dad died in july & i think i married him just to try to fill the void of missing my dad, yah know?] I found out in october I was like 3 months preg. I knew right away I couldnt stay with him because he had gotten really verbally abusive & he started punching holes in the walls& doors, etc. I was scared before long he would try to punch me & I knew I couldn't raise my baby in that enviroment. So I left him. We're going througha divorce now, the court date is set for June 9th! Its for custody, child support & the divorce. Gah I'm dreading it. I can't imagine not having my baby boy with me for even 2 mins!! So if he gets to take him for visits then I will cry the whole time, I know .. hes just SO messed up & his family is psycho, literally, his mom use to be in a mental hospital. ugh. I just don't want those kinds of people around Benjaymen, influencing him in life. I am going to try & talk to my ex though, before the court thing & try to get him to sign his rights over. Hopefully it works. I know I can give Ben a much better life without his dad in it.

Wow so sleeping is pretty much outta the ? haha id b too worried about my baby to sleep even if she was passed out! lol Do u still live at home or r u on ur own? This whole mommy thing is very stressful. ive got to get out ASAP but idk where to go...i work but i cant support myself and a kid...uh no.

ur love life sounds EXACTLY like mine! haha im glad...i mean it sucks and im sorry to hear that but im glad im not the only one in that position, u know? My baby's daddy and i were together for a lil over a year...he doesnt work, he's been in jail twice since we were together, he beat me, argued with me over stupid things, cussed me out...and when i found out i was prego i was like byyeee cuz my kid is NOT gona b raised like that. His dad's dead and his moms a heroin addict so the whole family can just STAY away. He says he dont want nuthin to do with her and he's bein a complete asshole so hopefully he'll keep that mindset and we wont have to fight over custody and stuff.

Well, good luck woman! im here if u need someone to talk to.