I'm an 23 year old married mother of two beautiful boys and an angel baby. My oldest son's name is Dakota, the smartest kindest little man anyone could ever ask for. He is the best big brother ever helping us with Cooper and doing so well in school. He is the best! My youngest son's name is Cooper and he is the happiest baby ever! He has medical issues, his immune system is lower than normal due to him being a preemie but he's a trooper and never really complains. I love you guys!
I lost my first baby in November of '07 I was two months pregnant, and when I learned two months later that I was pregnant again. I was in denial I refused to believe that I had lost my angel, and told everyone that they'd been wrong that I was still pregnant. One day I was at the OB getting an ultrasound and they told me that my due date was August 14th of '08 the dates didn't line up. At first I just shrugged it off till finally I gave in, something inside me snapped and I really lost it for a while just crying till I couldn't any more. I felt so guilty about denying that my baby was dead, and refused to do it again. I am not glad it happened but if she hadn't died I wouldn't have my son, but the thing is I want to be selfish and have them both. However, I can't so I just have to tell her now that I'll see her in heaven.
Cooper's pregnancy was a hard one, I went in to preterm labor starting at 23 weeks. From then on it was at least twice a week, they kept stopping it with shots until I was 27 weeks then they just couldn't get it to stop. We ended up in labor an delivery at 3 in the morning. After hours of the most horrid pain I have ever been through the doctors informed me that he refused to drop and that they were so scared that his umbilical cord would come out first instead of him so they decided to do an emergency c-section. It ended up saving both our lives, my placenta was detaching and the umbilical cord was wrapped so tight around his neck that he wasn't getting any air. They didn't put me under because I had a spinal tap in and was on a heavy dose of pain killers, it was that bad I am not a wuss when it comes to pain but I hurt so bad that I was getting sick. I was bleeding internaly, but they quickly got that stopped and we were okay. It took me three days before I could go home but when I did everything seemed to be okay. Sadly Cooper got an ear infection shortly after, he had six more and they refused to put any tubes in his ears. Finally they cleared up and he started having asthma attacks. During these we were told he had a heart murmur, and were sent to the City so he could be checked out. He was in and out of the hospital so much for breathing treatments and to check his heart I was so scared that I was going to lose my baby, and after about two moths of going to the hospital once a week for breathing treatments they ended up finding out he had RSV we spent a week in the hospital. He was little trooper though making the doctors and nurses laugh every time they came in because he was laughing and smiling at them and not at all acting sick. After we got out of the hospital we spent one week uneventful then my poor little trooper got the stomach flu. He was sick for two more weeks where he couldn't keep anything but watered down formula down. I was so scared for him he lost four pounds but never got dehydrated. He eventually fought that off and we have been doing pretty good the last few months, all we can hope is that he keeps staying healthy.
I love you babies, all of you!
On October 23, 2012 my husband bought me a new puppy his name is Brock, named after the Pokemon character, and he is so sweet. He is a yellow lab and just adorable and so sweet with both of the boys. ^_^ What is sad about him was that he was from a free puppy ad, when we got there he was skin and bones and covered in fleas so bad he was bleeding from where he had scratched himself raw. What made me even sicker was the fact that the lady had twelve full grown labs in her tinny back yard, along with more puppies than I could count. We got Brock home and my husband cleaned him up while I called animal control and a bunch of my contacts to see if we couldn't help these babies and get them taken out of the situation they were in. I ended up fostering three of the dogs till they got their fur ever homes. We found good loving families for each of the loving dogs. They were so sweet and adorable even after everything these poor guys had been through. I am just happy that they are now in happy loving families.
This is Brock and our youngest when Brock was starting to look like a healthy boy again! ^_^
On August 11, 2011 I moved in to my mother in laws house, that night I was sitting out side wallowing in self pity when I heard a . . . well frankly not even sure what the heck to call it but it the sound scared the absolute crap out of me and I bolted back inside ( We live in the country and if you hear a sound at night you can't identify it may or may not be a cougar). After a bit I went back outside this time with a flash light, and found something a bit unexpected where I live. For the past few weeks we'd been having trouble with, what we though was a raccoon, eating our trash out of the back of the truck I learned then it wasn't a raccoon but rather a little black cat. The next day I bought some outdoor cat food and started feeding him, he would never show up to eat till after I had walked away and would sit on my rock in the front yard my back to the food. For a long time he wouldn't come any where near me and I didn't mind I just sat out there talking to him venting or just laying there staring at the stars and talking about my day he would always stay just out of the light but would "talk" back mewing at me. I knew he wanted to be loved he would rub him self on the ground and cry pitifully looking at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen but if I tried to go near him he would bolt. For weeks we played this game, and every night it was the same until one day I just had a really rough time, learned some stuff I never wanted to know, and was outside bawling after my son had gone to sleep; so I wouldn't wake anyone, when the little cat came over and jumped in to my lap he laid there calmly while I held him and cried my self out then ran away as fast as he could. The next morning I found a dead mouse on my front step, and I knew it would be different. The next day he came out during the day and sat there before coming close enough so I could pet him, that was when I saw it. My buddy has a tumor on his cheek; I took him to the vet as soon as I saw it, he refused to "talk" to me for a few days after that but forgave me after a while, the vet said that they could remove it but he is too thin and needs to gain more weight before they can do it and it would be over a thousand dollars for the operation, money I don't have. Sadly without the operation my little buddy may only last the year. What really broke my heart was when the vet checked to see if he had a chip, it is a standard check on found animals because military personnel have to have their pets chipped and we live near a air force base, and the vet found out he did and called the family to tell them that we had found their pet, they said they didn't want him back that we could just put him down. Both the vet and I were furious, angry that someone could be so callous about an animal. From what we can understand is that he got the tumor and they dumped him out in the country so they didn't have to deal with it. I have sense taken him back home and he lives outside, my MIL wouldn't let me keep him in the house she already has a mastiff and a cat of her own. I named him Purcy. and yes I mean Pur instead of Per because it amuses me, because well it was the only thing he would come to. I sat out side during the days he wasn't "talking" to me, only reason I knew he was still around was because his food was always gone, and said every name I could think of and suddenly when I said Purcy he showed up and came mewing back to me. I love my furry baby, and hate the family who would look at that face and see nothing but a tumor.
Update: As of July 12, 2012 Purcy has passed on. The tumor over took him and he couldn't fight it any more. He was so sick at the end that I decided to end his suffering. There was nothing else I could have done and my heart breaks for him, but he is in a better place now.
RIP Purcy mommy misses you.