After stumbling across this site and seeing how kind and helpful everyone is to eachother, I thought maybe this could be a place where I can find some peace.

My story:

I was using birth control and having (what I thought was) regular periods. However, they were much lighter than usual. Turns out I was pregnant. It seemed so unreal to me because I never experienced any morning sickness, sore breasts.... I didn't have any of that. And didn't have any of it throughout my entire pregnancy. In fact I didn't have any pain or anything until I was in labour.

I had no idea what to do. I couldn't bring myself to go get an abortion. And I definatley wasn't able to raise a baby right now. I'm right in the middle of school and working full time. I wanted this baby to have everything he/she deserved. I wanted he/she to have parents who live together and are financially and emotionaly ready to have a child. I decided giving the baby up for aodption would be for his or her's best interest. It's not that I didn't want or love them, I just wanted what was best for the baby. I figured getting pregnant while using precautions and birth control, had to have happened for a reason.

I went into labour on April 22nd 2008. My boyfriend was there the whole time, however I didn't want him in the delivery room, so I went in there alone. The doctor was almost positive I would have a quick labour since I was already fully dilated. After two hours of pushing, they decided to do an emergency C section since they relized the babyhad turned and was stuck.

So i was rushed off to the OR, I wanted Scott in there with me since I was scared. A few minutes later, a 7lb baby girl was born April 23rd around 2am.

Scott and I didn't want to hold or see her. I was too emotional and overwhelmed. I know that sounds horrible. I think I was more scared I would get attached and not be able to go through with the adoption process. The next morning a social worker came to see me. After talking to Scott and I and asking us questions about our family health history and questions all about us, I looked through family profiles. One profile really stood out, a couple named Gianni and Jaclyn.

Later that night, I met with the social worker and Gianni and Jaclyn. As soon as I met them, I knew I had made the right decision. The were the most caring, beautiful people I have ever met. They were so thankful towards Scott and I as they are unable to concieve. We had sat and talked for awhile. All the things we had in common just made things seem more and more right. They decided to name the baby Ella Faith. I truly believe I ended up pregnant for them, that they were my reason. After meeting them, I asked Jaclyn and Gianni to bring out Ella so I could meet her. She is beautiful.

I am finally recovered from the C section.... but I still have a whole wack of emotions I don't know how to deal with. Gianni and Jaclyn want to send me pictures and updates, which I am thankful for. They are even willing to let me see her regularly. I was 19 when I gave birth to her, 10 days later I turned 20.

If anyone on here is trying to adopt and wanted to talk to a birthmom, I am more than willing. I think it would help me deal with all the things I am feeling.



A bit more about me:

I work full time at Best Buy. Its a fun job and I love the people there. I am working full time to pay for my schooling. I go to George Brown in Toronto for Culinary Arts. I want to be a chef and eventually own my own catering business. My best friend died when I was 17. She had cystic fibrosis, and received a double lung transplant but it failed. I am also currently in the process of starting up a non profit charity in her memory that helps families with children waiting on the transplant list with all the financial costs. I have been best friends with my boyfriend, Scotty since we were little. We have been 'together' for just over 2 years.

wow. Well mine officially started coming out like...Monday...I think it's done...Idk...At least they told me that's what it is...it's nasty I'll tell you that...