My son passed away at the age of 5 months and 2days. SIDS is something that researchers have not put enought thought or time into. I hope they find a cause and a solution because my life will never be whole again. No one should ever have to go through the pain of losing a child, let alone a baby...especially without cause or warning. I wait desperatley to hold my baby once again. Everyday is a battle. My son's father had a new little girl 12 days after I loss my son. Life is cruel and unjust. And that is all there is to it.


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Having my first baby....the dad ditched me at 6 weeks pregnant and now got his current girlfriend pregnant, and she looks like a hairy man....lol Since then I've learned child supprt doesn't do shit. I hate the deadbeats out there and the idiots who let them get away with it. As kelly clarkson once said, "I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green. I hope when you're in bed with her, you think of me. I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well."


Now my little man is here. I love him so much! I can't wait to meet a good man to make more babies with! It's a shame his bitch ass father had to be such a dip, but at least he will know better for himself, and hopefully, one day, someone with a great heart will take him on as his own. I am cpmpletely shocked every day that goes by, how it is possible that a man can knowingly leave behind their own child, but then I realize how lucky we both are to not have someone so awful in our lives....besides, his name would have been maxamillion if it were up to his sperm-father.

I love my Phoenix William-Michael with all my heart, and we are a perfect family, thanks to the love and support of the amazing friends and family in my life. They say, by scientific deffinition, an object is defined as living by the ability to grow and reproduce. So until you have experienced both, you are not really living.

If you EVER need anybody to talk to I will always be here for you.
Day or night.