alllast visit: 4 days agomember since: Jan 22nd 2009about me:
My name is Lisa and I'm from Reno, NV.
I'm 17 and I'm a single mom. May 22, 2009; The absolute best day of my life. 7 lbs. 13 oz. 20 inches long.12 long painful hours later....
We've been inseparable ever sinse.
She's my definition of perfection. She's my life. I wouldn't change a thing. I thank God everyday that I get to be her mama. She's saved my life in so many ways. She's made me a better person. If it wasn't for her I honestly don't think I would have gone back to school. Thanks to her I've stopped all the bad things and gotten my GED and I know it's not a diploma but it's still something and after this year I start college. I want my little girl to have everything I never had and then some. I want her to be happy. I'd give her the world if I could. I hope I can make her as happy as she's made me. http://myspace.com/rawr_xtc Feel free to add me. [=
"Before I was a mom, I never learned the words to a lullaby, I never thought about immunizations, I had never been puked on, pooped on, drooled on, chewed on, or peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts, I slept all night. I never looked into teary eyes and cried, I never got gloriously happy over a simple little grin, I never sat up for hours watching someone sleep, I never felt my heart break into pieces when I couldn't stop the pain. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew I would love being a mom."
I got pregnant for the first time in 2008 around March. I was really excited I had names all picked out..a crib..some gender neutral clothes..books; etc. It was right before my 16 birthday and my mom acted happy in front of other people but no matter what I did, nothing was really ever right. She constantly told me how horrible of a mother I was going to be..how horrible life would be because mine was over. I would never amount to anything. I was only a few weeks pregnant but the entire time I just cried..I believed her. I believed every single word she said. I didn't care about whether or not my "friends" would still want to be my "friends". I didn't care if I got to go out and party. The only thing I cared about was being able to give my baby a happy life. It was a couple weeks after my birthday that I started to spot. I didn't want to tell my mom because I knew what she would say and at that point I couldn't really handle anything else so I just tried to take it easy. I guess the damage was already done because the bleeding got heavier and then this cramping started and I don't think I could describe it as like..pain, it was more of an extreme discomfort. I couldn't sleep at all so I just kinda layed there curled up. The next day I met my friend and then bf at walmart and we hung out. I lost my baby in the bathroom. I was 8 1/2 weeks pregnant. I didn't even know how much I loved it until I lost it. I didn't know that it was possible to feel that strongly about something so small. I never got to feel it move..I never got to hold it..but I loved it soooo much! I remember everything about that day. I still have the hospital bracelets. It still hurts to think about and I still cry. My precious baby grew wings on May 2, 2008.
"Mommy still loves you. I think about you everyday but I know your happier in heaven. You'll always be in my heart. I hope I get to hold you one day."
Amarra's Mommy.
