Don't judge me judging you!
TTC since summer '09. Always wanted to be a momma, never doubted that I would be. A lot of times I feel frustrated that I did the right thing and waited. Waited to find just the right person to be a GREAT daddy. Waited until I was in the right place emotionally to care for someone else indefinitely. Waited until I felt I was financially secure enough to care for a child.
I waited for all those things and then my when my time finally came and my husband and I decided to go for it, I got my diagnosis of cervical cancer. Fortunately it's just stage 0, pre-cancer really, but the recommended treatment is hysterectomy. Not exactly news I was expecting, nor is hysterectomy something I'm willing to just accept. Although I am afraid of cancer, I am more afraid of never being a mom.
Thank God I'm a stubborn, stubborn girl because once my doctors realized I wasn't going to let them take my baby-maker, they decided to work with me and conduct further tests. For NOW there is no cancer to be found and I have been actively working on achieving an "emergency pregnancy."
My TTC Journey~
6/09 - My husband and I began officially TTC!
8/09 - Preconception care appointment with the OB/GYN. Pap smear came back abnormal.
9/09 - LEEP/Cone biopsy - adenocarcinoma in-situ of the cervix. Clear margins.
10/09 - First appointment with gyno-oncologist. Recommended hysterectomy as treatment, no alternatives. Also my last appointment with this particular doctor.
12/09 - First appointment with a new gyno-oncologist. Colp/ECC, results clean!
12/09 - First appointment with Reproductive Endocrinologist
2/10 - Met with RE to discuss/make our plan of action. Surgery to remove the fibroid and then IUI with injectibles.
6/10/10 - 9/2010 - IUI x 3 - All BFN
11/2010 - IVF #1 Miserable failure almost from the very start. Almost no response, despite the 600 IU of Follistim every day. I ended up with only two eggs retrieved (my doctor said I shouldn't cancel as this was probably the best I'd ever do) and one egg fertilized. It was only four cells by day 3 and arrested soon after.
IVF continues with donor eggs from my little sister ❤
04/2011 IVF #2 Gave up on trying with my own poor eggs but I'm very lucky to have a sister who is nine years younger and very fertile. She had 25 eggs retrieved, 21 fertilized and 14 made it to blast. I had one gorgeous looking blast transferred on 4/15/11 and have 13 totsicles waiting on ice. On 4/21/11 I got my first ever BFP.
06/11 Found out at 9 1/2 weeks my baby had arrested at 6 weeks.
09/11 FET #1 BFN
10/11 FET #2 Chemical
12/11 FET #3 Miscarriage at 5 weeks
1/2012 Begin recurrent loss testing - Found to be insulin resistant
3/30/2012 Natural BFP
5/04/12 No heartbeat
Hopefully another embryo transfer 9/2012
9/19/12 FET #4
12/19/12 Lost our baby girl Hope at almost 16 weeks to incompetent cervix. More than heartbroken.
4/19/13 Surgery to place a transabdominal cerclage, which will tie off the very, very top of my cervix permanently. It requires two abdominal surgeries but so very well worth it to carry a baby to term!
*OFFICIAL* Fertility Treatment Thread (Clomid, IVF, IUI)